You made jokes about it. You ridiculed it from the moment it came out, and didn't let up for two years.

It was a movement. A celebration. And you were a part of it. George Lucas' big crash and burn.

No, not The Phantom Menace (the top grossing science fiction film of all time) -- the giant flop about the giant duck. You laughed at it. And you took secret delight in its failure, because man, oh man, it was such a stupid idea. But was it really that terrible?

Really bad movies gain a legend. An aura of badness.

And few movies in history inspired more universal trashing then the George Lucas executive-produced 1986 comedy about a duck named Howard.

There's a simple truism in life. Ducks aren't funny -- at least, not like monkeys are funny.

But in 1986, wonder-boy George Lucas was riding high. His Indiana Jones series was a huge hit, and it had been only three years since Vader had tossed the Emperor down a shaft to record-breaking box office grosses.

Clearly inspired by the Ewoks, and perhaps jealous of E.T.'s success, George decided to exec produce his college friend Willard Huyck's pet project, a yarn based on the 1973 underground comic about a parallel universe where ducks have evolved instead of humans.

In keeping with the comic book's theme, Lucas envisioned a realistic take on a surreal idea, that of a duck trapped in a human world.

But the public was ready for the slightest misstep. Everybody was ready to pile on poor George.

His movie never stood a chance.

Howard the Duck came out to scathing reviews. Heckled, maligned and insulted, more people made fun of the movie than actually saw it. Howard was run out of theaters in a flash, mocked as only a legend like the name "Lucas" could inspire.

Sometimes legendarily bad films don't deserve the hype. Hudson Hawk had its moments. And Waterworld was kinda fun -- if people would've just given it a chance.

But Howard the Duck? Okay, who are we kidding? "Awful" doesn't begin to describe it.

This movie is an insult to ducks.

Howard is living a standard middle-class life on Duckworld. He reads Playduck. His credit card is from Bloomingducks. Until suddenly a strange vortex pulls him through space all the way to Earth, where he lands in a trash can in Cleveland.

Crimp-haired Lea Thompson plays a struggling rock star, decked out in all her '80s glory. Lea's just finished a gig when a gang of Class of 1984-type punks accost her. Howard appears to save the day, and thus begins one of the strangest love stories in movie history.

As Howard recovers and tries to orient himself at Lea Thompson's apartment, Howard and Lea gradually fall in love. She calls him "Duckie," he calls her "toots." And if you think that's painful, there's still an hour of movie left.

Muddled duck

What little plot there is involves Howard's determination to get zapped back home, but the movie seems more interested in a series of sketches aimed at cramming as many duck jokes in as possible.

One lowlight involves an interspecies kiss not seen since Charlton Heston felt monkey love in Planet of the Apes. At this point you'll be praying someone'll cut Howard's head off and fry him up in a nice lemon sauce. The plot and acting are so appallingly bad, one wonders if George Lucas lost a bet.

Jeffery Jones, now best known as the principal from Ferris Bueller's Day Off, appears on the scene, mugging it up as head scientist Jennings, whose laser pulled Howard to Earth. But the laser brings evil aliens along with Howard. One takes over Jennings' body; anti-hilarity ensues.

A young Tim Robbins dorks it up as a nerdy scientist, at one point becoming so enraptured by Howard's discovery he screams out, "It's a bird! It's a plane! It's a duck!" You'll wish Darth Vader would show up and Force-choke everyone to death.

Howard and Robbins, desperate to get back to the lab to stop the possessed Jennings, steal a plane. Surprise, it's duck hunting season, and even a cued laugh track couldn't save the awful duck jokes that follow as Howard dive-bombs the hunters.

When Howard yells out, "Okay, no more Mr. Nice Duck," the urge to strangle overcomes. The duck must die.

They make it back to the lab, some stuff explodes, Howard jabbers in terror and you're reaching for the Advil. There's a big rock-and-roll ending as Howard jams on stage with Lea Thompson to the Howard the Duck theme song.

No "so bad it's good" here. Just plain eye-poppingly, stupefyingly bad.

At the end, Howard the Duck lives up to the hype. It really is that awful.

The science is pretty much ignored, but then again, so is the humor. The movie might've been somewhat tolerable if all of Howard's lines weren't zingers and duck puns. When Tim Robbins warns, "Howard! Duck!" and he yells back, "And proud of it," your eyes will melt from the blinding, scorching pain.

One supposes today Howard would be fully digitally created -- and just as unfunny. Sometimes selling lunch boxes and plush toys really should take a back-seat to more important things, like a good story.

If you see this flick sitting on your local video store shelf, do yourself a favor -- duck.