have already contacted her and requested to be guests at Stan's trial.
She announces, "On behalf of the Committee of Justice for the Lost Souls, I hereby place you formally under arrest for the murder of six hundred and eighty five billion, three hundred and four million people."
Going through the pre-trial motions
Xev and Kai take a moth to the transport.
Upon arriving, they are confronted by armed guards. Jihana calls off the sentries and apologizes to her guests.
She asks how Xev and Kai came to be traveling with the Arch-Traitor. Kai explains that they escaped from the Cluster together.
Jihana meets with her fellow prosecutors. She informs one of them -- Nool -- that he will have to defend Stan.
Nool asks how he can defend someone he knows to be guilty. Jihana tells him, "to commit yourself to the possibility of his innocence."
Nool agrees to accept Jihana's challenge.
Order in the court
The trial begins. An enormous hologram of the Judge hovers above the makeshift courtroom. He explains that there are potentially two phases to the trial.
In the first, the court will determine Stan's guilt or innocence. If he is found guilty, the second phase of the trial will determine his punishment.
Jihana explains the charges against Stan. They stem from his time as an Assistant Deputy Backup Courier for the Ostro-B Heretics, a rebel faction that opposed the Divine Order.
Stan stands accused of allowing military data to fall into the hands of His Shadow's agents.
The enemy forces used the information obtained from Stan to launch a surprise attack, obliterating one hundred Reform planets and killing over 685 billion people.
She asks Stan to enter a plea. Nool tells Stan that if he pleads guilty, he can ask for a quick and painless death.
Stan tells Nool that only 94 Reform planets were destroyed. The remaining six planets were not officially part of the Reform movement.
Nool ignores this distinction and asks Stan for his plea. When Stan pleads "Not Guilty," Nool tells the Judge that Stan is innocent.
Kangaroo court
Jihana insists that, "It is well established that Stanley Tweedle's crime is the most terrible act of pure evil ever committed."
As such, in her opinion, the purpose of the trial is merely to determine what punishment fits Stan's heinous crime.
Stan protests his innocence. The Judge orders him to be silent.
Jihana thanks the members of the Committee who staked out this Celes Pleasure Transport in order to apprehend Stan.
She introduces a recording of Stan's previous visit to the transport as evidence against him.
Blast from the past
At the time, Stan carried a third backup copy of amino acids encoded with information Heretic ships needed to pass through the Reform planets' defensive systems.
Upon arriving on the transport, Stan offered several goods in trade for pleasure services. His offers were rejected.
The Celes representative offers to let Stan trade information. She asks about his mission. He tells her the mission is secret, but very important.
The representative asks for more information. Stan refuses to divulge any details, but again insists he is on an important mission for the Ostro-B Heretics.
The representative welcomes him. She tells Stan, "We have a special place in our hearts for Ostro-B." An overjoyed Stan prepares to enjoy the transport's delights.
Reasonable doubt?
The recording ends. Jihana tells the court, "Stanley Tweedle's indiscriminate tongue helped the forces of His Divine Shadow pinpoint the exact location of the Ostro-B Heretics."
Nool rebuts her evidence. He argues that Jihana offered no proof that Stan led His Shadow's forces back to the Ostro-B.
Jihana tells the Judge that Stan returned to the Ostro-B rendezvous after having identified himself aboard the Celes Pleasure Transport.
Nool again insists that Jihana has no evidence that Stan led the enemy back to his base.
Jihana introduces another recording to support her accusation. It shows Stan's shuttle returning to base, followed closely by His Divine Shadow's warship, the MegaShadow.
Xev and Kai look on as the playback shows the MegaShadow destroying the Heretic base.
Jihana concludes that the images prove that Stan led His Shadow's forces to the base, and that Stan is therefore responsible for the Heretics' deaths.
Nool suggests that the MegaShadow may already have been en route to the base. He argues that speculations of Stan's responsibility "do not carry the weight of certainty."
When all else fails, shout
Jihana confronts Stan directly, and orders him to, "Admit that you led them in, Arch-Traitor!"
Xev leaps to Stan's defense. She tells the Judge, "I know Stanley, and he would not do that."
The Judge orders Xev to be silent, and Jihana promises to directly prove Stan's guilt. She requests a short recess before continuing.
Backroom deals
In chambers, a Celes employee rubs Jihana's feet. Nool sits on the other side of the room, nursing a drink.
Jihana accuses Nool of harboring "the peculiar notion that the Arch-Traitor is innocent and should be set free." He insists he is doing the job she ordered him to do.
She tells Nool why she agreed to prosecute the case. Jihana wants to be the one to kill Stan. She confesses that the very idea turns her on.
Jihana fires Nool for failing to mount a defense half-hearted enough to ensure Stan's conviction.
She then turns her attention to the Celes employee. Jihana accuses the woman of receiving payment from His Shadow in exchange for Stan's information.
The employee denies it. She insists that they let Stan in because Celes personnel sympathized with the Heretic cause.
Jihana demonstrates her lust for sadism by driving a spike through the woman's ear, killing her.
Back in the deserted courtroom, Stan screams, "I'm innocent!"
I remember it well
The trial reconvenes. Jihana tells the Judge that Nool withdrew from the case because "his conscience could not allow him to defend a man whose guilt is so certain."
She agrees to allow Stan to defend himself for the duration of the trial. Kai petitions the Judge to allow him to speak for Stan. The Judge grants Kai's request.
Jihana calls for a memory probe. She places the probe helmet on Stan's head. She uses the device to extract the memory of what happened after the attack directly from Stan's brain.
With his shuttle adrift and running out of oxygen, Stan broadcasts a distress signal to the Ostro-B. He receives a response from someone claiming to be a fellow Heretic.
Stan hesitates before transmitting his coordinates to his rescuer. The newcomer allays Stan's suspicions. Stan sends the coordinates.
The rescuer reveals himself to be a mercenary in the employ of the Divine Order.
Jihana tells the court that this was the moment when Stan committed his greatest crime. She argues that he should have taken his own life before the mercenaries arrived, thereby saving countless billions.
She asks whether Stan's memories of the event are accurate. Stan admits that they are.
Undead Matlock
Under Kai's cross-examination, Stan admits that he was afraid to die. He expresses remorse for the consequences of his action.
Kai's questioning leads Stan to explain that he helped to kill His Divine Shadow, the person ultimately responsible for the destruction of the Reform planets.
He also accepts responsibility for allowing the codes to fall into His Shadow's hands. This admission eases the burden of guilt Stan carried for the past ten years.
Stan insists that despite his culpability, he never killed anyone himself.
Kai asks the Judge to consider Stan's role in destroying His Shadow when passing sentence. He argues that Stan "should be shown the mercy that befits a tainted hero."
The Judge retires to deliberate.
The verdict...
Stan thanks Kai and Xev for standing up for him.
After a short recess, the Judge returns and finds Stan guilty.
Jihana tells Stan that the minimum punishment for murder is death.
Kai tells Stan to ask for the mercy of a quick and painless death. Stan insists that he does not want to die.
Xev tells Kai that they must help Stan escape. Kai tells her it would be wrong and refuses to help.
Nool finds a pair of guards wheeling a vat of nerve bore worms down a corridor. They tell him that Jihana requested them for Stan's execution.
The mercy of the court?
Kai petitions the Judge to grant Stan a quick and painless death.
Jihana requests that Stan, "be given the given the ultimate punishment for the ultimate treason." She asks for the nerve bore worm treatment.
The worms will keep Stan alive, but in agonizing pain, until they extract all the nutrients from Stan's body.
Kai and Jihana argue the difference between punishment and revenge. The Judge opts for mercy, and sentences Stan to a quick and painless death.
Jihana asks to carry out Stan's sentence herself. The Judge grants her request.
Guards escort Stan away.
Miscarriage of justice
Jihana opens the vat of nerve bore worms. She tells Stan that she gets pleasure from the suffering of others.
Xev tells Kai that they must save Stan. He refuses to interfere with the course of justice.
Jihana tells her guards that Xev and Kai are accessories to Stan's crimes. She orders the guards to kill them.
The guards attack Kai and Xev. Kai uses his brace to disarm them.
Nool arrives on the scene. He tells Xev and Kai that Jihana still plans to use nerve bore worms on Stan.
Suspended sentence
Jihana begins pumping the worms through a hose. Kai enters the room, fires his brace and severs the hose before the worms reach Stan.
Kai chastises Jihana for choosing cruelty over justice.
He offers to kill Jihana if Stan wants him to be the enforcer of justice. Stan isn't sure Jihana deserves to die, and suggests that they simply return to the Lexx instead.
Better than an encounter group
Once aboard the ship, Stan tells his friends that he feels better for having owned up to his guilt. Xev tells Stan that he was very brave.
Stan asks whether Kai would really have killed Jihana at his request. Kai tells him that if Stan had asked him to be the enforcer of justice, he would have killed Jihana and then Stan.
The assassin adds, "But in both cases, it would have been quick and painless."
Stan is visibly shaken by Kai's candor. He orders the Lexx to take them as far away as possible.
Back aboard the transport, Nool admits that he told Xev and Kai about the nerve bore worms.
advertisement
