, who is standing by in the trailer, and asks him to boot up Eddie’s computer. Controlling it from his cell phone, he hacks into Garret Financial Services.
A few minutes later, Garret gets a call on his cell phone. He turns pale when his employees tell him what has happened, and makes his excuses to Marianne.
As soon as Herman has left, Eddie goes to Marianne. They greet each other.
"You have a lot of explaining to do," she says. They take a walk around the school.
Eddie explains that the FBI broke in on him while he was hacking government computers. Marianne really wants to know why he never tried to get in touch after high school, and Eddie tells her the heat from the government was too intense.
"For fifteen years?" she asks. "I came back to this reunion because of you – we were in love."
"Getting caught by Feds changed me," says Eddie. "It made me who I am today – a recluse and a paranoid."
Marianne is still single, and teaches computer literacy in Baltimore. She was the only female member of Eddie’s band of hackers in high school.
They stroll by the old computer lab, and decide to break in for old times’ sake. They’re thrilled to find all the old computers of their youth – from TSR-80s and VIC-20s to the powerful Lisky 1000.
Remembering the good old days of building computers and hacking school databases, and embrace. Eddie glances out the window, and sees a Gua agent throwing Bert Franken into the party supplies truck.
He tells Marianne to go back to the gym immediately. "There’s something I gotta do," he says.
Go go Gadget Eddie
Eddie quickly solders together a directional microphone using half a school globe and the parts in the computer lab. He sneaks up to the truck and listens in as the aliens interrogate Bert Franken.
The terrified Bert knows nothing about Cade Foster, but he remembers a brilliant group of hackers known as the "Binary Bandits." He never knew their identities – they were too good – but they started with hacking school systems and moved up to government installations and satellites.
The aliens wipe Bert’s memory and send him back to the reunion. Eddie misses this development, having left to call Cade.
"They’re searching for me," he says.
Cade orders him to get out of there, but Eddie thinks the aliens will have trouble tracking him down – and he can’t leave his old hacker friends in danger. He hangs up on Cade, who immediately jumps in Eddie’s car and rides to the rescue.
Eddie goes to warn Stan, who doesn’t believe him. Eddie demands to know what’s wrong with him – they hacked the Area 51 files together, so he should know that the aliens exist.
"That was high school," Stan says. "I grew up."
Eddie tells Stan to wait, and goes to get Marianne and Herman.
Marianne and Herman are talking about "Larry". Herman’s just reminding her that he’s a paranoid, neurotic freak when Eddie shows up and tells them, "We have to hide. We’re all in extreme danger!"
Herman dismisses Eddie’s worries and heads for the bar. Eddie tells Marianne that while he may be paranoid, he’s not crazy, and Marianne asks him to explain what’s going on.
That proves difficult. Eddie finally finds a place to get started, then decides to go get Stan and explain what’s happened to both of them.
Stan is gone. Eddie looks around him, but only finds Bert – who doesn’t remember anything about being grabbed.
Stan is now in the interrogation chamber. Ron tells him he wants to know all about Eddie.
Confession time
Eddie watches the aliens with his jury-rigged microphone. A hand grabs his shoulder – it’s Stan.
Stan finally tells Eddie what’s been bothering him: Herman ratted "Larry" out to the Feds back in high school. Eddie thinks Stan is talking about the aliens at first, but the Gua have wiped Stan’s memory of his interrogation.
Once Eddie understands what Stan is talking about, Stan tells him the rest of the story. Herman wanted Eddie’s notebooks on hacking so he could start a company.
Worse, Stan knew about the notebook – Herman promised him a piece of the company for not telling Eddie. Stan came to the reunion to beg Eddie’s forgiveness.
"You were right to be paranoid," Stan says. "We were out to get you."
Cade isn’t having much luck at riding to the rescue. Eddie’s car has broken down.
Cade calls Eddie again. Eddie still refuses to hide while his friends are in danger.
The Gua have some leads now. Their agent on the inside should be able to ferret out Crazy Eddie’s identity soon.
This truth is way out there
Eddie shows Marianne the Paranoid Times. She thinks it’s weird, but if it’s true she thinks she can see why Eddie is the man he is.
Eddie says, "I’m the way I am because of what happened back here, not because of any damn extraterrestrials."
He tells Marianne about Herman’s betrayal. She says she knew nothing about it.
"All this time," she says, "we might have been together.
They think about that a little. They kiss.
A Gua agent leaves the trailer and enters the school.
Eddie has to go get Herman. He gives Marianne his gun for protection, and she puts it in her purse.
Eddie finds Herman dancing with Mimi, and confronts him.
"We were kids," Herman says. "Get over it!"
He angrily offers to make it up to Eddie. Eddie wants to know how Herman is going to give him 15 years and his identity back.
"I’m not Larry Posinski anymore," he says. "I’ve become somebody else!"
Eddie gets himself under control. "The past is past," he says. "I’ve gotta go."
The Gua agent enters the computer lab. He and Marianne stare at each other.
Eddie returns to the computer lab. Marianne is gone.
He turns to leave – and Herman is standing behind him.
I am Spartacus
"At last," the female Gua agent says to Marianne, "Crazy Eddie Nambulous."
Marianne pretends to be Crazy Eddie. "I’ll never tell you anything," she says.
"We’ll see," says Lon.
Cade tries to call Eddie again, but there’s no answer. He restarts the car and heads for the reunion.
Marianne continues to defy the Gua, and does her best to talk like Eddie. The aliens are puzzled – Marianne has most of the words right, but her vocal inflections are wrong and she’s not displaying enough antisocial tendencies.
"The paranoia must be a cover," Lon concludes. "She’s that good."
There’s a knock at the back of the trailer. Lon and the other Gua agent go to answer.
It’s Herman. He tells the Gua agents about Larry’s arrest and change of identity to Eddie Nambulous.
Marianne hurls curses at him for betraying Larry again. The aliens wipe her memory.
Eddie looks for Marianne on the dance floor. The agents enter and begin looking for him.
I’d like to dedicate this next song to the Gua
Eddie grabs the mike.
"Just a little announcement to make," he says, "A little unusual I know. But if there’s aliens out there – and you know who you are – I think you’re looking for me."
He runs. The dance music starts up again, providing a soundtrack as the aliens chase him through the halls.
Eddie flees to the computer lab. The aliens follow.
A monitor lights up. "Hi," Eddie says. "Looking for me?"
The aliens reflexively shoot the monitor. More monitors light up.
"You’re going to have to try harder than that."
A motorized jack activates. It pushes a water cooler over, spilling the water.
The water flows around the agents and across the floor to an exposed electrical cable. The agents are electrocuted, and dissolve.
Eddie leaps out of a storage cupboard in the Lisky 1000, cackling with glee. Then he looks up to find Mimi holding a gun on him.
"Mimi’s dead," the Gua agent tells Eddie. "I have her DNA."
"Nice DNA, huh?"
"Larry" had Mimi fooled – she was sure Marianne was Crazy Eddie. "You were good," she says, "just not good enough."
She aims. A shot rings out.
Mimi collapses and dissolves. Marianne shot her from behind.
"I never liked that slut," she says.
Still cunning after all these years
Marianne and Eddie share a moment of togetherness after saving each other’s life. "You’re a bona fide alien fighter now," says Eddie.
Eddie had some inside help: Herman.
After Marianne disappeared, they cooked up a plan in which Herman ratted Eddie out so that the aliens would let her go. The aliens took the bait, and Herman and Eddie are friends again.
Stan joins them, having woken up from his nap in the car. The Binary Bandits are together again, and Garret volunteers to help fund the war against the aliens.
Marianne offers to come along and help fight. Eddie tells her "it’s too dangerous."
He and Foster have plans for their believers, though. He assures her that the day will come.
"Besides," he says as he kisses her, "we’ll always have high school."
As the janitor cleans up after the reunion – and Cade arrives, ready to save the day – Eddie muses on his experience.
"By confronting the pain of my past," he narrates, "I healed old wounds and gained a better of understanding of who I am. I may be paranoid, but I sure as hell ain’t crazy."
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