Cade investigates the unlikely success of a formerly abysmal high school football team.
(originally aired June 25, 2000)
Written by Dan E. Fesman and Harry Victor
Directed by George Mendeluk
GUEST STARS
Andrew Johnston – Trevor Jenkins
Kirby Morrow – Quentin Billup
Nicole Oliver – Charlene Fay
Ryan Taylor – Lionel
Anthony Harrison – Coach Jenkins
WHAT HAPPENED
Charlene Fay sips iced tea and watches a football team practicing. The first state championship for the Fairville Falcons is just around the corner.
In the huddle, a linebacker named Lionel can’t concentrate. The team’s aggressive quarterback takes him to task for it.
They break for the play, and Lionel runs in a perfect touchdown. As he returns to the team, he begins twitching.
Moments later, he attacks a coach and collapses, frothing at the mouth. (
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ANALYSIS
Few television programs have more to say about the human condition than the latest entry in First Wave’s gripping story arc of "dangerous babes" episodes.
The message is pure existential chauvinism -- man is doomed to walk alone, lost in a forest of threatening sexual imagery, certain that the least temptation can lead to stinging rejection by women/bee hybrids.
"Ohio Players" emphasizes the Gua’s perfidy, showing that they can defile even the most sacred male rituals with flashing eyes and alluring curves. American men have worked for years to banish women from the family room while they watched tight ends and drank Bud Lite – if the Gua take over Earth, beautiful women will spend hours watching football practice.
This episode pays homage to an important literary antecedent in making its argument. Guest star Nicole Oliver’s easy charm and curly-haired sexuality recalls Susan Sarandon’s classic turn as "Annie Savoy" in Bull Durham.
In that movie, "Ohio Players" begs us to remember, the seductions of women were a rite of passage as well as a deadly threat. Tim Robbins’ "Nuke LaLoosh" resisted Annie’s enticements and went on to become a major leaguer; Kevin Costner’s "Crash Davis" ended up sitting on the porch with Annie, an unemployed wreck of an man.
Costner was so deeply affected by his role that he went on to make Waterworld and The Postman. The moral is clear: women are peril incarnate.
Two brave men in peril
Cade and Eddie do their best to strive against this alien menace. They prove their mythic worthiness by tossing the old pigskin around, and wield a large needle filled with life-giving body fluids as a totemic weapon.
Eddie’s penetration of Cade with this highly symbolic needle also emphasizes their manly fellowship, though Cade keeps their relationship complicated by turning his needle on Charlene as soon as he has a chance.
It’s a noble effort, though only partially successful. Charlene’s malign influence on the young men of America is stopped, but the evidence needed to prove the danger she represents eludes our noble pursuers in a shocking plot twist.
There’s a lesson to be drawn from "Ohio Players": if Eddie and Cade want complete victory against the Gua, they’re going to have to get even more manly and pat each other on the butt.
WHAT WE LEARN
The Gua are experimenting with alien-animal hybrids.
TUNE IN TWO WEEKS FROM NOW WHEN
Cade takes a bullet and must escape both the cops and the Gua in "Night Falls".
What do you think? Send your comments to the editor.
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