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Farscape - 'Won't Be Fooled Again' (spoilers)
By Chris Aylott
Associate Editor
posted: 06:33 pm ET
21 August 2000

"Dr. Bettina Fairchild" – Aeryn – examines Crichton. She tells him that he is still disoriented, and that it has been a week since Farscape One crashed during his experiment.

Crichton is sure somebody is manipulating him, but he can’t tell if Aeryn is part of the setup or simply playing along. He tells her about a "freaky dream" of being on a spaceship surrounded by aliens.

She relaxes a little, and he asks to be let out of the straps that are holding him to the examination chair. He finally convinces her that he needs to apologize to his father for going berserk.
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He strolls down the hall of the hospital. Unlike his previous "return" to Earth, the women’s room is real, and the newspaper he borrows from a passing military officer seems to be reporting recent news.

As Crichton apologizes to his father, his friend DK joins them. DK has been taking some heat for the failure of Farscape One – IASA is blaming the mishap on pilot error, and DK says "the Farscape project is circling the drain."

On top of that, "Dr. Fairchild" won’t let Crichton loose without a psychological profile. Crichton has an appointment with a Dr. Jean Kaminsky.

Dr. Kaminsky gets the blues

"Dr. Kaminsky" turns out to be Zhaan wearing a stylish business suit. She deflects Crichton’s questions, carefully evading any acknowledgment that she’s a bald, blue-headed plant woman.

Crichton tries to figure out which of his many enemies are responsible for his predicament, but doesn’t make much progress. Despite the fact that he sounds like a paranoid loon, however, Dr. Kaminsky declares him sane.

He meets up with DK, just in time to witness the wild-driving entrance of Gary Ragle, an ambitious young astronaut. Gary Ragle is D’Argo, wearing bright white shoes and a checkered shirt that’s at least a size too small.

Crichton points out "Ragle’s" tentacles to DK, but DK calls it a "lifestyle choice." After checking out some passing women, Ragle invites Crichton and DK out for a beer.

Hoping to get to the bottom of whatever alien’s "personal science project" he’s in, Crichton accepts. They go to a bar and get thoroughly drunk.

Between rounds, Crichton expounds to Ragle his theories about what’s happening. Ragle likes Crichton’s plan of not reacting to the freaky things that are happening, and orders more beer.

Crichton spots Pilot and Scorpius playing in the bar’s band. Scorpius seems to be a pretty good drummer, and Pilot plays a mean bongo.

Dr. Fairchild – who has changed into something more comfortable – offers to let Crichton buy her a drink. Crichton introduces her to Ragle, and she leaps enthusiastically into his lap.

Like Elvis, he’s everywhere

Crichton goes to get another drink. He finds a second Scorpius at the bar.

"We haven’t got much time," Scorpius says. He tells Crichton that the drumming Scorpius isn’t real.

Reasoning that Scorpius must be responsible for his current situation, Crichton grabs the Peacekeeper scientist. Scorpius frantically denies his responsibility.

"In fact," Scorpius says, "I’m the only one who can help you."

He suddenly vanishes. Crichton collapses, and the drummer Scorpius makes faces at him.

Taking homesick a little too far

Crichton goes back to tell Dr. Kaminsky that someone is "gaslighting" him.

Crichton has realized he misses Moya and its crew – so much that the thought that he might simply be mad and lying "drooling" on the ship’s deck is actually comforting to him.

DK and Crichton’s father track Crichton down after his meeting with Dr. Kaminsky. They want to introduce him to Douglas Logan, the new IASA Project Administrator, a tough bureaucrat who holds the future of the Farscape project in his hands.

They go to Logan’s office, where Crichton discovers that "Douglas Logan" is Rygel. Crichton refuses to take Logan seriously, fiddling with the bureaucrat’s business cards while Logan rants about the failure of the first Farscape test.

Despite Crichton’s "reckless" nature, Logan offers a second test of the Farscape project

"So that’s the play," Crichton comments. "The play is the thing."

He’s convinced that Scorpius is trying to learn the wormhole secrets locked in Crichton’s head by fooling him into recreating the experiment. He refuses, loudly ordering the unseen Scorpius to "get lost!"

After he stalks out of the meeting, DK and Jack Crichton urge him to apologize. When Crichton tries to point out that "Logan" was a two-foot-tall alien slug, Jack asks him, "What does a man’s disability have to do with anything?"

Logan catches up with them in the parking garage. Crichton picks him up, swings him around and around, and drops him down several flights of stairs.

"It ain’t real," he tells the others. He’s annoyed that DK and his father are acting exactly like his memories tell him they should act.

Madness has its privileges

He goes back to the bar, and Dr. Fairchild introduces him to a "good friend" named Jessica. Jessica – played by Chiana – is an astronaut groupie.

"That works for me," Crichton leers.

Scorpius appears in the next booth, and demands to speak with him. Crichton ignores him, and suggests to the others that they go for a drive.

Soon, they’re tearing down the highway in Ragle’s sports car. Crichton has a new theory: "life sucks, let’s party."

Scorpius appears again, this time hanging onto the windshield of the car. "This is not time to be having fun!" he says.

"It’s time to bail," Crichton tells him – and drives into a head-on collision with a truck.

Bad hair day

He wakes up back in the hospital examination chair, completely unharmed by the crash. Dr. Fairchild is also unhurt, though her hair is a fashion nightmare of gigantic rollers.

Fairchild has a visitor for him – his mother, who died five years ago. Crichton’s mother reassures him that she will make everything all right.

Crichton’s mother comforts him, but is concerned that he’s changed. He’s lost his innocence, become callous, killed.

"You can’t know that," says Crichton. He flees the something that isn’t his mother.

He finds Scorpius in the bar – but it’s the fake drummer version. At least this Scorpius buys Crichton a drink.

Crichton’s mother appears again. Now she’s the dying woman of five years ago, begging Crichton to "stay with me this time."

"This is cruel," Crichton whimpers, and flees again.

Now things get strange

As he walks down the street, a policeman – played by Capt. Bialar Crais – stops him.

"I don’t know who I am anymore," Crichton laments. The policeman decides he’s had a few too many drinks, and decides to take Crichton down to the station to sleep it off.

Crichton attacks the policeman, beating him savagely and taking his gun.

He goes back to Logan’s office to find everybody assembled there. "We were just discussing your future," Logan says.

"You’re not real," Crichton tells them, "or you’re in on the plot." He shoots his father, shattering the picture directly behind the man.

"I’m disappointed in you," Jack says, completely unhurt.

Crichton continues to shoot his friends while they casually discuss what they’re going to have for lunch. He screams.

Justice is swift

Crichton is chained in the examining chair. Crais stands in front of him, still wearing the policeman uniform and holding a fluffy white dog.

The policeman asks, "Have you any idea how much trouble you’re in?" He reads off a string of charges – including five counts of attempted murder – and hands Crichton a bill for $29.40.

"Toto," he says in farewell, and walks out carrying the white dog.

Crichton wonders out loud if he’s going insane. Scorpius leans over and tells him that while he isn’t crazy yet, he will be soon.

Scorpius tells him what’s going on. A Scarran has captured Crichton and is using a virtual reality scenario to break his will and drive him insane.

"Your mind is about to crack," says Scorpius. "I can’t allow that – I was here first."

Crichton points out that the Ancients were the first ones to mess with his mind, and Scorpius reluctantly agrees. However, Scorpius put a sophisticated neurochip in Crichton’s head when Crichton was trapped on the Peacekeeper base last year.

The chip is Scorpius’ backup plan for getting information out of Crichton – but Scorpius will never learn what he needs to know if Crichton is destroyed by the Scarrans.

Scorpius advises Crichton to concentrate on the real things in his life. He also warns Crichton that he can only give advice when the Scarran agent is distracted, and that Crichton’s pistol will be useless against the Scarran’s heavily armored skin.

The Scarran returns, and Scorpius disappears.

Beat me, whip me, take me to a Farscape convention

Aeryn, Zhaan and Chiana appear to him, having apparently taken on their "true" personalities again. Aeryn is dressed as a sexy nurse, Zhaan looks dominant in black leather and Chiana’s schoolgirl outfit is anything but innocent.

As they offer to fulfill his every fantasy, Rygel interrupts them. He’s dressed up as Scorpius, and he forces Crichton to slap himself.

Crichton staggers through the hospital and finds himself in the "momma ward." DK rants at him, splattering blood everywhere from his slit wrists.

His parents – 20 years younger – fight about him. Crichton’s father claims he really wanted a terrier, and throws Crichton off the top of an apartment building.

Crichton sits in a car on Lover’s Lane with D’Argo. The extremely effeminate Luxan wants to "unburden" himself of his feeling for Crichton.

Mom Crichton looks through the library of Dr. Kaminsky and discovers a book on the Oedipus complex. She seductively asks Crichton to explain it.

Crichton is back in the bar. Everybody is dancing, and D’Argo tells him to get down and boogie.

"I don’t boogie!" protests Crichton.

Rescued at last – yeah, right

Aeryn is standing in the crowd, watching. She gets Crichton’s attention, and shoots the disco ball.

Crichton begins to shake off the disorientation. Aeryn claims Scorpius was behind Crichton’s experience, but it's okay now -- she's killed him.

Puzzled, Crichton almost gives away the secret of Scorpius’ neurochip. Aeryn demands to be told about it, but Crichton gets suspicious and refuses.

She walks out, and the dance floor instantly fills again. The dancing is even more frantic, and Crichton can’t keep up.

Shouting defiance, he begins to convulse. Images from the last few minutes flood his mind.

Outside of Crichton’s mind, the Scarran agent increases the power on his torture device. Crichton collapses, and the machine reports that he is dead.

The Scarran is surprised, but like any good doctor he begins reading off the time and particulars of Crichton’s death.

Crichton’s eyes flicker open. Glancing around, he reaches for his pistol and sets it on overload.

The Scarran hears the pistol charging. He approaches to examine it.

Crichton jams the pistol in his mouth and runs. It explodes behind him, taking his torturers’ head with it.

Me and my shadow

Scorpius applauds Crichton’s ingenuity. He explains that he faked Crichton’s death by stopping his brain for a few seconds.

He tells Crichton that he will be returning to Crichton’s subconscious for now. Crichton threatens to remove the chip as soon as possible.

Borrowing a trick from the Jedi, Scorpius tells Crichton, "There’s no chip in your head." Crichton tries to resist, but quickly forgets what he was saying to Scorpius.

"I won’t trouble you again," Scorpius tells him, "until I need to."


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