The first step is to select your system. Two established players (Dish Network and DirecTV) are on the market, with a third (Voom) recently introduced.

In each case, the purchasing and installation process is nearly identical.

Every major city has plenty of outlets for selling the equipment; big outfits include Best Buy, Circuit City and Radio Shack. Check the Sunday ad supplements in your local paper to comparison shop. So far Sears remains the only source for Voom.

In general, when getting Dish Network or DirecTV, you can get all the hardware you need and the system installed for little to no cost. The companies make their money primarily through monthly subscription fees.

There are a bunch of different offers available every week. In many cases you'll have to buy a year's worth of premium programming to get the hardware free. In other cases you can buy some of the hardware or pay the installation fee and then mail in a rebate certificate to get your money back.

A couple of hundred bucks could be at stake if you don't take advantage of the best deals.

One other decision to make before you buy is to know how many televisions you want to hook up. That's because you need a separate receiver for each TV you want to independently tune channels on.

You could buy one receiver and split that output to any number of TV's around the house, but all of the TV's would show the same thing. In my home that would work for about one hour a week, at best.

The most common package these days seems to be the one that includes the rooftop dish and two receivers, which provides independent channel selection for two televisions.

Sales clerks at the retail outlets will guide you through system selection and answer questions about setup. Before you pay, however, there is some paperwork.

Some of the initial registering for the installation and service is usually done at the store, so the clerk -- either on the sales floor or at checkout -- will take down your address and record the serial numbers of the hardware and a "smart card" that is included with every receiver.

The smart card is a credit card-sized piece of plastic containing a computer chip. It will communicate with your service provider and is the key for unlocking all of the programming. Treat it as though it was your child. Never lose it.

At home you'll call to set up or confirm an installation appointment. Instructions are included to do it yourself, but unless you understand the concepts of geosynchronous orbit, longitude and latitude, azimuth, and signal-to-noise ratio -- and are comfortable handling power tools while climbing on a roof in the wind -- make the appointment.

Depending on the season and location, it could take up to a week to have the equipment installed, so plan ahead. Don't buy the hardware the day before the big game and expect to watch it.

In most cases the person doing the job is an independent installer. Like any business, most are decent but there are a few horror stories out there. Make sure you know how to get a hold of the installer later in case something doesn't work.

Starting at the top and working their way down, the installer will place the dish and fasten it down, either to your roof or perhaps on a pole, or even to a handrail on a balcony. (Federal law prevents homeowners' associations from restricting installation.)

The dish will need a clear line of sight to the satellite from which it will receive signals.

If you live in south Texas, the dish will point basically straight south at a fairly high angle. If you live in northern Minnesota, your dish also will point straight south, but it will be aimed much lower to the horizon, making it more likely that neighborhood trees or nearby buildings could complicate the installation. The farther east or west in the nation you live, the more the dish will be turned to the southwest or southeast, respectively.

With the dish mounted and its electronics secure, the installer will string a high-quality coaxial cable down from the dish (two cables if two receivers were bought) and into your home. Another wire is strung, to ground the dish in the event of a lightning strike.

A good installer will make sure the cables are cleanly tied together and not an eyesore. And the point at which the cable or cables enter the home should also be crafted cleanly and the hole weatherproofed. Those entry points will depend on where you have the receivers placed inside.

Inside, the receivers need to be close to their televisions, obviously, but they should also be close to a source of power and a telephone jack. Your receiver must be plugged into a phone line at all times in order to get your programming. This does not mean the receiver needs its own phone line and is constantly "on the phone." The receiver communicates with the home office for just a few seconds every once in awhile, usually overnight.

I've had a DirecTV system hooked up at my home for more than five years, and even working the unusual overnight hours a space reporter sometimes sees, I have never caught my receiver on the phone when I wanted to use the phone.

Once the hardware is wired up, a process that should take about an hour, the remote will be presented to the owner and you'll be on your own.

All that's left to do is to call customer service and activate your programming. They'll verify all the information, answer your questions and then send a signal through the satellite system that somehow -- almost magically -- finds your home. And there you go, 500 channels of programming and, as everyone realizes at least now and then, not a thing to watch.